I HATE PEOPLE
Andrea is a disillusioned, in the closet, New Zealand woman in New York; snapping at people, getting stuck in train doors; hating her job, her neighbour, her life.
She's convinced by her weird lesbian co-worker Melissa, to see her shrink, David, the Saturday Night Live throwback of a psychiatrist. He finds the source of Andrea's hate for humanity when he hynoptises her and realises how much of a loser she’s been from the start.
David: “Let’s find out what’s caused you to be the bitch of a woman you are shall we?”
He tells Andrea to find good people. Once she realises not everyone is horrible, she'll feel good about herself. Andrea decides to go on a road trip with Melissa, (who secretly fancies Andrea), and her large, lovable, unappreciated co-worker Joe, who goes through the journey with no idea why he’s there.
They go to a church to spend time with religious folk. When the three learn of their archaic beliefs, Andrea gets pissed off at the way she and Melissa are treated. Despite embarrassing herself with a pen rage whilst defending Melissa, she’s determined to find good people. She can’t go wrong with children.
They spend a day at a kindergarten to see the goodness in the little ones. Melissa and Joe have a blast playing with the kids, but Andrea doesn’t fit in. She pushes their swings too high, gets kicked in the vagina and has paint thrown at her face. She remembers… even kids can be pricks.
Dejected, Andrea has an idea: they'll drive to Mexico and help at a charity hospital. The three are given their own patients; Joe, a sexy woman, Melissa, a lovable child and Andrea, an old woman with no teeth. Despite almost killing her when trying to change her sheets, the woman likes Andrea. She can’t speak English but tries to tell Andrea that Melissa could be the one for her. The old woman warms Andrea's heart and she finally starts to feel good… until life throws crap at her face again... literally.
The woman suffers an unnecessarily tragic event… death, when she wasn’t given priority medicine in the poor clinic.
Disillusioned, Andrea turns on her friends, not valuing them. After their car is vandalised, they get on a bus and suffer an accident on the winding Mexican hills. The bus tilts on the edge of a cliff; everyone saves themselves, including her friends. Andrea stays to help an injured woman and her baby, risking her own life. Just when she feels like she’s the only one who has any morals, humanity steps up. The Mexican passengers and her friends step on board to help. Joe finally figures out what his purpose is on the trip and uses his weight to stop the bus from tipping.
Andrea finally finds a reason to believe in people and herself. Life is good, and yes, she comes out and gets the girl in the end, kissing Melissa on a bus in New York, with the impatient arses on board telling her to get a fucking room.